The NFL misery index is crowded with star quarterbacks after a weird week 6.
Aaron Rodgers got dump trucked by the New York Jets, Tom Brady was silenced by the Pittsburgh Steelers, and Lamar Jackson gave one away to the New York Giants. Throw the Bears in there as well after Chicago threw up on itself in an inexcusable Thursday night loss to the Washington Commanders.
Elsewhere, the injuries are piling up for the San Francisco 49ers and Los Angeles Rams, the Atlanta Falcons and Seattle Seahawks are tied for first place in their respective divisions, and Josh Allen got the best of Patrick Mahomes in the likely precursor to the AFC title game.
Oh, and the Philadelphia Eagles just keep on winning.
Here’s where each team stands in the parity-filled NFL after Sunday’s Week 6 action:
32. Carolina Panthers (1-5): Robbie Anderson could probably be had for a sixth-round pick, but I doubt anyone wants him after Sunday’s sideline outburst. Matt Rhule’s “The Way of the Panther”plan hoodwinked David Tepper and derailed Carolina.
31. Houston Texans (1-3-1): The Texans won while on their bye. The Browns’ loss to the Patriots makes Cleveland’s 2023 first-round pick, which Houston owns, look even better at the moment.
30.Detroit Lions (1-4): Dak Prescott is on track to return just in time to face the Lions in Week 7. More bad luck for Detroit’s house cats.
29. Washington Commanders (2-4): Carson Wentz is off to see a finger specialist about his fractured finger. Wentz missing time might be the best case for Washington. If Wentz plays 70 percent of the snaps this season, Washington has to send the Colts a second-round pick in 2023. It’s only a third-round pick if the QB comes in under that number.
28. Chicago Bears (2-4): By not finding a way to improve the offensive line in the offseason, general manager Ryan Poles has put quarterback Justin Fields in an impossible position in Year 2. With competent blocking, the Bears could have one or two more wins. Shameful.
27. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-4): The Steelers’ win over the Bucs says more about Tampa’s flaws than it does about the Steelers turning it around. Still, no reason to expect much from Mike Tomlin’s team this season.
26Arizona Cardinals (2-4): Has a coach ever been fired in the same year he received an extension? In college football, it’s called “an Auburn.” Cliff Kingsbury is trending that way.
25. Cleveland Browns (2-4): The Browns’ defense ranks 31st in EPA per play allowed. They’ve played Joe Flacco, Mitch Trubisky, Bailey Zappe, and Baker Mayfield. Big problems in Cleveland.
24. New Orleans Saints (2-4): After getting the Broncos vs. Colts and Commanders vs. Bears in back-to-back Thursday night stinkers, Al Michaels is about to call in sick for the impending Saints vs. Cardinals rock fight.
23. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-4): The Jaguars have now lost 14 straight division games on the road. They need an exorcism.
22. Denver Broncos (2-3): Denver traded a boatload of picks and gave Russell Wilson a massive contract extension for 15.0 points per game. OOF.
21. Las Vegas Raiders (1-4): Josh McDaniels has fallen on his face right out of the gate, but the Raiders’ next six games are against the Texans, Saints, Jaguars, Colts, Broncos, and Seahawks. The Raiders have to go 4-2 at minimum in that stretch, or the season is over.
20. Indianapolis Colts (3-2-1): Scoring 34 points and barely beating the Jaguars doesn’t change my opinion of a fraudulent Colts team. Something stinks, and it’s coming from Indy.
19.Seattle Seahawks (3-3): Seahawks rookie corners Coby Bryant (four forced fumbles) and Tariq Woolen (four interceptions, two fumble recoveries) might be the start of a new Legion of Boom in Seattle. Seahawks aren’t the bottom feeder we predicted.
18. Miami Dolphins (3-3): Without Tua Tagovailoa healthy, the Dolphins have looked like a shell of the team that knocked off the Ravens and Bills to start the season. Perhaps Tua is more valuable than the game manager he has been painted as early in his career.
17. New England Patriots (3-3): Bill Belichick’s defense dismantled the Browns and now faces a Bears team with turnstiles taking up three-fifths of the line. Best of luck, Justin Fields.
16.Atlanta Falcons (3-3): The Falcons win ugly, but it all counts the same. Marcus Mariota looks rejuvenated, and Atlanta’s bully-ball rushing attack has given teams fits through the first six weeks. But is it sustainable?
15. Tennessee Titans (3-2): The Titans are good at scoring in the red zone and great at getting off the field on third down. A winning formula.
14. Green Bay Packers (3-3): The Packers have scored 107 points in six games this season (17.8 ppg). According to ESPN, that’s the fewest in any six-game stretch with Aaron Rodgers as their starting quarterback. Green Bay has problems that aren’t easily fixable.
13. New York Jets (4-2): Robert Saleh’s Jets went into Lambeau Field and humbled the Packers. Make no mistake, this was a big win for Gang Green. The jets are… good?
12. Los Angeles Rams (3-3): The injury to Joe Noteboom leaves Rob Havenstein as the last healthy starter on the Rams’ O-line. The season from hell continues for the defending champs.
11. Dallas Cowboys (4-2): Cooper Rush held down the fort, but the Cowboys need Dak Prescott back before they prove to me they aren’t frauds.
10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-3): Sunday’s loss to the Steelers was probably the worst of the Tom Brady era. The Bucs are a giant mess that reeks of desperation.
9. Cincinnati Bengals (3-3): Don’t bet against Joe Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase in New Orleans. The Saints found that out Sunday.
8.Los Angeles Chargers (3-2): With a win Monday night, the Bolts can drive a stake into the Broncos’ heart and finish off a successful first third of the season. Expect a show from Justin Herbert in prime time.
7. Baltimore Ravens (3-3): The Ravens once again faltered late in a loss to the Giants. Baltimore has to learn to finish.
6. San Francisco 49ers (3-3): The 49ers are averaging 8.6 points in the second half of this season. What happened to Kyle Shanahan’s genius?
5. New York Giants (5-1): I don’t know how good the Giants are, but they keep on winning. You win, you rise up the rankings. Rules are rules.
4. Minnesota Vikings (5-1): All the Vikings do is win ugly. That’s good enough to take control of the NFC North.
3. Kansas City Chiefs (4-2): The Chiefs lost to the Bills during the regular season last year. That didn’t faze them. Expect Buffalo-Kansas City part two in late January.
2. Buffalo Bills (5-1): Buffalo’s offseason acquisition of Von Miller might be the piece that finally gets them past the Chiefs. Miller closed out Sunday’s win in KC, but the Bills know they’ll see Patrick Mahomes again.
1. Philly Eagles (6-0): Find me the first Eagles loss on the schedule. I’ll wait.
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